First Posts Are Always So Awkward.

I could tell you my name, where I live, and my favorite color.

Or, I could tell you why I decided to start this blog in the first place. I think that’s a much better place to start.

I’m changing. Plain and simple.

The things I’ve known my entire life don’t make sense anymore. I question everything, and I don’t regret it.

This blog will very heavily revolve around my spirituality. But in that comes things that make me happy, and things I still need to figure out. Basically, this is not going to have any rhyme or reason to it. Nothing in my life ever does. But, some things that are constants in my life that you can expect on a regular  basis: books and reviews, movies and reviews, knowledge I build while researching things like crystals, chakras, and pendulums, knowledge I acquire in regards to the different religions of the world. I’ve only ever known one: Christianity.

This is as good a place as ever to get started.

I grew up in church. I remember a partial stretch of my childhood where church wasn’t a regular thing, but I was very young. I’d say from age 7-18, I was at church at least once a week. In my very early teens, I was there all but two nights out of the week.

I was a good kid, other than my attitude problem. It wasn’t a phase.

I’m passionate about things, and I voice my opinions regularly. There are unfortunately those in our world who aren’t too fond of this notion. That didn’t stop me as a child, and it’s certainly not going to stop me now.

As you can see, I come from conservative roots, but as it stands today, there is very little, if anything about me that is conservative. What many fail to realize is that being conservative and being respectful to others are not one in the same. In fact, they have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

When I was 18, I still went to church. That was the rule until I moved out. & when I did, I stopped going.It’s been 10 years, and I’ve never gone back.  I was finally free of those that had judged me for the last ten years of my life. Because I spoke my mind, I was viewed as a juvenile delinquent. I was viewed as someone who was promiscuous and didn’t follow the rules. When in reality, it was the opposite.

I didn’t do drugs. I very rarely cut class. I’m talking maybe 3x total in all four years of high school. I didn’t even have my first kiss until I was 17. I was generally a good kid. I did have a shoplifting phase at age 15, but I think most teenagers do, at one point or another.

As I entered adulthood, I still identified as a Christian. I still identified as Conservative. It wasn’t until the last four years that I began to question things. The first thing I questioned was The Bible.  Next was the reality of God and if he really cared about any of us or not. Followed by the overall existence of God. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

In my heart I feel like some stories from the bible are true, but most of it is fabricated nonsense. I feel that Jesus was real. And that he is now gone. I feel that people turn to God because they need to believe there is something greater than them. And there is. It’s called the Universe.

Enlightenment isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Questioning things is hard. Being questioned about things is hard. People will ask you a question and you open your mouth to answer, but just before you speak, you realize your opinion isn’t your own. It’s been conditioned. And so you research things you thought you had known your entire life, and it’s like you’re seeing the facts for the first time; it’s like you have a brand new set of eyes.

This is enlightenment.

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